Rom 7:24-25 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of obedience in the seemingly unimportant moments in order to train ourselves for those moments when it really counts. Well, the very same day I experienced it as a reality.

I had an appointment with my midwife at two. I was five minutes late, but she was 45minutes late. It was quite a trial not to demand my rights, but to rest in God's sovereignity and control over my time and not to discredit my witness. The Lord gave me victory. When we finally started chatting and she asked me whether I have been taking my tissue salts, which she has told me to do so that I could absorb more iron, I did the most stupid thing ever: I told a lie and said I did. Let me explain. It is not that I make a habit of making a habit of lying in private and was therefore untrained for this crucial moment. It was that I had been negligent in doing what she asked of me. The Lord has been convicting me about it and I have been ignoring Him. At the same time it was a result of fear of man which clearly proves to be a snare (Pro 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe). I had been cherishing sin in my heart and had done the very thing I did not want to do: I discredited my testimony and the Name of my Father. How could I now speak to her about Him? It has been my heart's desire to be able to testify to her and in one moment I had compromised my witness and her chance of eternal life. At the same time, I did it before my son. Luckily he is too young to understand, but imagine the damage if he could understand. I felt truly ashamed at my action.

Wretched [woman] that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! How sweet is the knowledge of His forgiveness and grace. In one moment I have failed my Father, Lord and Saviour. But in one moment, if [I] confess my sins, he is faithful and just to forgive me my sins and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness (1John1:9). How thankful am I for God's grace!

I am writing this to you in order to show you two things:
1. That while we have a standard for our children that we must hold to, we must remember that they, just as us, will fail often. There would then be negative consequences, but we must be patient and gracious when they fail over and over again. God is so patient with us. He discipline us, but He also forgives us when we confess. He forgives us in such a way that He remembers our sin no more:
Jer 31:34 And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, 'Know the LORD,' for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more."

2. That you might learn from me and not sin in the same way as I have, and by doing so, discredit the Father's name, your witness and your example to your child(ren)

The Lord has shown me a way that the situation can be redeemed. I phoned my midwife today and apologised for having lied (she realised immediately and told me so, because I was lying like a little girl to her mother) and for not doing what she tells me to do. She just laughed and said I mustn't worry, but I know in my heart that it was a very important thing to do. One thing is for sure: I'll think twice before lying next time, because it is much harder to apologise than to tell the truth.

Love in our Rock and Redeemer!
Rosa