I used to feel very guilty about how I should relate to my husband. If I said he is my best friend, I thought: “But shouldn’t that title only belong to Jesus?” If I told him he is my biggest blessing in this world I thought, “But shouldn’t that title be reserved only for Jesus?”
A month ago, however, in prayer with my Father, I had this wonderful and consuming desire to make Nel, my husband, the king of our kingdom (our family and home), in all areas pertaining to family and home life: in our finances, in the management of the home, in the discipline of our child(ren). I felt like I wanted to treat him as a king, with reverence. I started thinking how one would be toward a king. Wouldn’t you want to make your king the most delicious and appetizing meals? Wouldn’t you want to wake him with hot coffee in the morning, because it is the only way he will be able to get up and start his day? Would I ever challenge my king in public on his choices or his way of disciplining his children? Or would I rather wait till we are in bed… and tell him gently and lovingly? Would I tell my king how he should spend his money all the time just because there is a strict budget?
At the same time I realized that I am his queen. I won’t just let him make bad choices, because his kingdom would be at stake and therefore his reputation. I am his adviser, not the decision-maker. My job is to get everything in order so that he can make wise decisions; to make sure his day runs smoothly; to decorate his life with jewels of special surprises that he likes. I speak highly of him in front of the children so that they will also reverence him and love him and feel proud about him.
For the last month, as far as I possibly could, this has been what I have done. I cannot describe how it has helped me to be submissive to my husband, to respect him and to love him. What has motivated me the most is the fact that I am pleasing my Father whom I love. I have realized by treating my husband as my king, I am in fact treating Jesus as my King, because I am respecting Him and loving and obeying His command.
In Ephesians 5:18-33 Paul explains the profound mystery of the fact that the union of a man and a woman in marriage is a symbol of the union between Christ and His bride, the church. Because this is true, he exhorts us to “submit to our husbands as to the Lord.” By treating my husband as a king, I am correctly showing that Christ is the King of the church and that He is also my King. In verse 18, Paul says that we should “be filled with the Spirit.” This is an epilogue to the section on the relationship between a husband and his wife, because by submitting to our husbands we are being filled by the Spirit. One pastor explained this in a wedding sermon and I could just rejoice at this explanation, because since I have decided to treat my husband as the king of our kingdom, the Holy Spirit has been by my side to help me. He encourages me to put aside my plans for the day when my husband needs something to be done. He helps me not to procrastinate in the things which my husbands asks of me to do. He also gives me helpful hints, such as buying candles for our room to create a romantic atmosphere, having a picnic outside, making myself beautiful, looking after and loving the dogs that my husband loves so much. I have stopped nagging my husband about not spending outside of our budget (here I also received help from the Spirit) and I have started making delicious and interesting meals. And when my husband comes in during my quiet time and wants some intimacy, I delight in it - and no longer grumble because this is the only time I have with the Lord! – because in that very act I am pleasing and worshipping the Lord.
I praise the Lord daily for making me aware of this. It has been so liberating and I can see the positive effects in our marriage. Every day I am falling more and more in love with my husband and every day I am loving him more and more. What a wonderful God and Saviour we serve who gave us such a relationship in which we can learn about how to relate to Him and how to please Him!
Grace and peace to you,
Rosa
P.S Christ is our ultimate authority and the one to whom both my husband and I submit. If my husband sins, I can gently show him the error in his ways, referring to the Word. If he expects me to sin I should also submit first and foremost to Christ and to His Word.
Here is an article which echoes my discovery:
Little Women
By: Zephyr Pearl
Pleasing Those You Love
I remember, as a young girl, my mother doing everyday things for Daddy, because Daddy was special. When he came home from work as an airplane pilot, Mom would have the house clean, supper prepared, the table set, and each of us six kids eagerly anticipating Dad’s arrival.
Mom would rush around like a giddy teenager in love, dabbing on a bit of Heaven Scent (Dad’s favorite perfume) as she scurried about. I remember so clearly her always preparing one of “Dad’s favorite” meals. I don’t know if that was her intent, but she was teaching us kids not just by words, but by actions, too.
As I got older, I would leave little “goodbye notes” that I sneaked into Dad’s flightbag the night before he left on a trip. Sometimes, my sisters and I would slip downstairs at 4:30 am and make him a simple breakfast of eggs and toast. Dad would send us postcards from his different destinations, even though we didn’t receive them until days after he had returned home. There were times when we all went with him on a three-day flight to someplace far away and exciting. Everything Mom did centered around pleasing Dad and making him happy. Mom’s little gestures of love did much more than make a happy husband. She was making happy little wives and a happy home, as well.
Today, I am now a wife and mother. I find myself doing these same things; and my daughters are following in my steps, learning from me, and perpetuating the tradition of love. Laura, our first child, now four-and-a-half years old, is constantly trying to buy this thing or that for her Daddy, because she knows “it is his favorite.” When we go to the local country store, she always gets two fireballs—one for her and one for Daddy.
As I write this, we are in the last month of our three-month stay in Honduras. The kids and I take a daily trek into town early, because it gets hot here well before noon. By the time we get to town, the kids are hot and thirsty, so they occasionally get to pick out a box drink from the store’s cooler. Needless to say, they don’t have all the commodities here that we do in the States. Well, Laura picked out the Honduran version of a Starbucks frappuccino that looked as if it had been sitting there for a couple of years. As we paid for it, she eagerly opened the straw and started slurping it down. “Mmm, this is sooo good,” she said, as we walked home discussing iguanas, whale sharks, airplanes, and other various and random subjects. Then, out of the blue, she stopped sucking on her straw and stated, “I am going to save the rest for Daddy and surprise him when he gets back from diving, because frappuccino is Daddy’s favorite.” When we got home, Laura carefully hid her drink box in the fridge, so Daddy couldn’t find it, and then went to take her afternoon nap. While she was sleeping, I tested the drink to make sure it was palatable. I gagged and spit it into the sink, quickly guzzling some orange juice to kill the taste. When Nathan got home, I warned him of what was to come. Laura woke up soon after and hurried excitedly to get Daddy’s treat. While she was busy making sure his eyes were closed for the surprise, I rushed to pour him a generous serving of OJ. The look of happiness, pleasure, and joy on Laura’s face as she watched Nathan choke down the drink was priceless. My girl’s Daddy is her knight in shining armor, and that is how it should be. My mother’s example is bearing fruit.
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/marriage-family/mothers-women/article-display/archive/2007/june/15/little-women/
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Great website for activities with your toddler
I have been looking at activities to do with my 15 month old an dhave found this site with thousands of suggestions. Go have a look!
http://www.savvysource.com/activities/
http://www.savvysource.com/activities/
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Muffins fit for a king!
I made these muffins today and have received so many compliments that I have decided to post the recipe. It is very easy to make and ends up being delicious!
Cinnamon and Coconut Muffins
400ml cake flour
350ml breakfast oats
200 ml cocunut
15 ml baking powder
2ml salt
100 ml sugar
30 ml cinnamon
250ml cream (replace with milk if you don't have cream)
300 ml milk
75ml vegetable oil
1 egg
Grease a muffin tray. Preheat the oven at 180 Degrees Celcius. Mix the dry ingredients - flour, oats, coconut, baking powder, salt, sugar and cinnamon - in a bowl. Mix the cream, milk, vegetable oil and egg in another bowl. Mix the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients until well mixed, but do not overdo it. Pour into the muffin tray. Sprinkle a little bit of brown or white sugar over the tops of the muffins and bake for more or less 20 minutes (until golden brown). It can be eaten alone or with honey and cheese. My husband really enjoyed them and that is why I believe they are muffins fit for a king.
Cinnamon and Coconut Muffins
400ml cake flour
350ml breakfast oats
200 ml cocunut
15 ml baking powder
2ml salt
100 ml sugar
30 ml cinnamon
250ml cream (replace with milk if you don't have cream)
300 ml milk
75ml vegetable oil
1 egg
Grease a muffin tray. Preheat the oven at 180 Degrees Celcius. Mix the dry ingredients - flour, oats, coconut, baking powder, salt, sugar and cinnamon - in a bowl. Mix the cream, milk, vegetable oil and egg in another bowl. Mix the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients until well mixed, but do not overdo it. Pour into the muffin tray. Sprinkle a little bit of brown or white sugar over the tops of the muffins and bake for more or less 20 minutes (until golden brown). It can be eaten alone or with honey and cheese. My husband really enjoyed them and that is why I believe they are muffins fit for a king.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Running with Grace
One of the themes of my 2008 December holiday was learning that we can run with the grace that God has given us in Christ Jesus our Lord. I have been a Christian for almost 5 years and it was only in the last year that I truly came to an understanding of what it means to receive grace from God, that we are redeemed from the curse of the law and that we do not, and definitely can’t, work our own righteousness in the face of a holy God. This has set me free to love God and to treasure Christ through whom I can enter the Most Holy Place and sit at the feet of my Father.
What do I mean when I say “Running with Grace?” The concept was formed for me this holiday after reading Sally Clarkson’s book The Mom Walk. This book truly encouraged me as a mother and a wife and mostly as a child of God. She touches such relevant areas of life. She describes many of her family’s daily experiences and adventures and what one comes to see is a family that has taken hold of the full assurance and acceptance of Christ and is running with it in order to do great things for God’s kingdom. They know they are not perfect, but they do not wallow in self-pity. Rather they accept that Christ has paid the full price for every sin we have done and will ever do. They no that, in God’s covenant of grace, there is a place for failure. After all, God “knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14). At the same time, they strive to be godly and wholeheartedly devoted to Christ in every aspect of their lives.
Through this book and this idea of running with the grace that God has provided us, I have come to understand the parable of the tenants. Before understanding grace, I have always been a closet one-talent servant. I was too afraid to do anything, because I didn’t know God as a loving and rewarding Father and Master. I only could see the extent to which I failed and thought that He must be angry with me more often than not. Now that I understand the extent of God’s grace, however, I see that He wants to reward us; He wants us to enter into His joy. He looks at us with pleasure as we are in Christ, his dear Son. We already have the righteousness of Christ. The result of this assurance is the desire to please God and to work for His kingdom, as the servants with the five and ten talents respectively did.
It is so easy for us to focus on our sins and weaknesses only. This actually paralyses our work for the kingdom. But when we are humble enough to accept that we are weak and not to stop there but to look at God’s all-sufficient provision in Christ and to accept it and live in praise and thanksgiving of it, then we can do great things (by this I mean serving our families, reaching our children’s hearts for Christ, serving in our church-family, reaching the lost) for God.
Some other verses from Scripture which confirmed this for me was Isaiah 40 verse 30-31:
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
These verses speak the new covenant that Jesus established and shows that in this covenant of grace we will be able to move up and to move forward, and all this without tiring.
Another part of Scripture is Hebrews 10 verse 19-24:
Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood ofJesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…
Here I saw that we have such a strong assurance in the blood of Christ, that we can enter the very throne room of God and come in His presence having put on the righteousness of Christ. And after the writer has so gloriously emphasized this fact, he encourages us to stir each other to love and good works. It is because we have this assurance and hope that we can run with love and good works and encourage each other to do the same.
I am now convinced that I can run with the grace that God has provided me. I do not think it is my own strength, but Christ who is strength in my weakness. I see that I am multiplying my talents even in the meal that I prepare my family and the coffee I make my husband every morning so that he can wake up. I also see that I can use this desire that I have - to encourage other moms and expectant ladies to walk closer with God – and start reaching out to others. That is one of the reasons for this blog. I praise God at the same time that the results are in His hands and not in mine.
My desire is that anyone who reads this will also start running for God’s kingdom. His gospel is the power to save!
What do I mean when I say “Running with Grace?” The concept was formed for me this holiday after reading Sally Clarkson’s book The Mom Walk. This book truly encouraged me as a mother and a wife and mostly as a child of God. She touches such relevant areas of life. She describes many of her family’s daily experiences and adventures and what one comes to see is a family that has taken hold of the full assurance and acceptance of Christ and is running with it in order to do great things for God’s kingdom. They know they are not perfect, but they do not wallow in self-pity. Rather they accept that Christ has paid the full price for every sin we have done and will ever do. They no that, in God’s covenant of grace, there is a place for failure. After all, God “knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:14). At the same time, they strive to be godly and wholeheartedly devoted to Christ in every aspect of their lives.
Through this book and this idea of running with the grace that God has provided us, I have come to understand the parable of the tenants. Before understanding grace, I have always been a closet one-talent servant. I was too afraid to do anything, because I didn’t know God as a loving and rewarding Father and Master. I only could see the extent to which I failed and thought that He must be angry with me more often than not. Now that I understand the extent of God’s grace, however, I see that He wants to reward us; He wants us to enter into His joy. He looks at us with pleasure as we are in Christ, his dear Son. We already have the righteousness of Christ. The result of this assurance is the desire to please God and to work for His kingdom, as the servants with the five and ten talents respectively did.
It is so easy for us to focus on our sins and weaknesses only. This actually paralyses our work for the kingdom. But when we are humble enough to accept that we are weak and not to stop there but to look at God’s all-sufficient provision in Christ and to accept it and live in praise and thanksgiving of it, then we can do great things (by this I mean serving our families, reaching our children’s hearts for Christ, serving in our church-family, reaching the lost) for God.
Some other verses from Scripture which confirmed this for me was Isaiah 40 verse 30-31:
Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
These verses speak the new covenant that Jesus established and shows that in this covenant of grace we will be able to move up and to move forward, and all this without tiring.
Another part of Scripture is Hebrews 10 verse 19-24:
Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood ofJesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works…
Here I saw that we have such a strong assurance in the blood of Christ, that we can enter the very throne room of God and come in His presence having put on the righteousness of Christ. And after the writer has so gloriously emphasized this fact, he encourages us to stir each other to love and good works. It is because we have this assurance and hope that we can run with love and good works and encourage each other to do the same.
I am now convinced that I can run with the grace that God has provided me. I do not think it is my own strength, but Christ who is strength in my weakness. I see that I am multiplying my talents even in the meal that I prepare my family and the coffee I make my husband every morning so that he can wake up. I also see that I can use this desire that I have - to encourage other moms and expectant ladies to walk closer with God – and start reaching out to others. That is one of the reasons for this blog. I praise God at the same time that the results are in His hands and not in mine.
My desire is that anyone who reads this will also start running for God’s kingdom. His gospel is the power to save!
